Serial Bride Ponderer Pillows

'No thanks, darling. If I ate cake at all my weddings, I'd weigh a ton.'

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

'Oh my! He finally proposed!'

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

'Joe's really slow to take hint...she's been wearing that dress for two years.'

It'll never work - you're LED and I'm plasma.

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

Single girl in wedding dress trying to catch a bachelor.

"If you were the only man in the world, and I were the only woman. . . would we still have to diet?"

'Wow, that was unforgettable.'-'What was?'

'I love your poetry, m'dear - it's very Ezra Poundish.'

Meaningful...Meaningless relationships.

"Have you seen my wife?"

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

'Will you marry me if I can get funding?'

Bridal bootcamp

'-but I keep telling you-these things take time...'

"Oh Adam. This is the second...sorry, I mean third happiest day of my life."

"We're taking separate vacations this year."

"I'm your surrogate mother, son. I just provided the oven."

'We still have a few minor issues to work out: I want a huge wedding and he wants to be single.'

Training the Bride's Train Bearers

Are you honestly trying to play footsie with me? I never mix footsie with honesty.

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am a 24-year-old man. The woman I am about to marry is having second thoughts because she believes that we are too young. What do you think? - Jacob. Actual reader letter. Great question. When is the right time to marry? Randy, our commitment expert, would you like to handle this one? Jacob, really, what were you expecting?! Medic! Randy's not moving.

The Good Samaritan.