Senior Speedsters Pillows

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'Raping and pillaging, Seniors' Tour, 898AD.'

"I thought you'd take up something like gardening in your retirement, not parkour."

"Larry is seventy with occasional gusts to eighty-five."

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

"I'm delighted that you feel better, but I'd go easy on those backflips!"

When Seniors Fly

'Maybe you had the radar screen upside down and it was a plane...'

Sunshine Retirement Villa: Pool, Golf, Tennis and Financial Planner.

"I'd be fast, too, if I had legs that long."

'Don't tell me you weren't speeding back there. When you drove by me, all I could see was a blur.'

Senior Olympics

The over 80s ain't what they used to be!

'In denial and loving it!'

The only drug this league tests positive for is Geritol.

"I admire the way you avoided that radar trap."

Nice custom job, Bill!

"Of all the times to stall."

'55 minutes? Really? And you call yourself the fastest land mammal?'

'They wanted us to take the knee before kick off, but I was worried half of us might not be able to get up again'

"What's the rush? He'll still be dead when you get there."

New Scoots for Old Coots!

'I don't mind a medical but I think that's a bit much!

Ruby wasn't going to let her age slow her down.

'Getting old isn't so bad when you consider the only other alternative. . .'

'Well, obviously if I'd known car tax was going to go up I'd have bought a more sensible vehicle.'

'Who greased our slope?'

'Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't pleas insanity.'

Lester adhered to his morning exercise regime.

"I told you she didn't like us!"