Senior Romance Fan Pillows

"Walk of shame."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Romance

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

A senior moment.

"My doctor said I have 'a reptile dysfunction.'"

David Blaine, Age 60

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"Our house must be haunted. When I look in the mirror an old geezer-goat stands in front of me so I can't see myself."

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

Old man has a walking stick case.

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'Did someone say something?'

'I need a low dose of Viagra please doctor. . .I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't wee on my shoes.'

Masked Admirer

'Our relationship is getting serious. He's taking me to meet his doctor.'

'I need your honest opinion...does my butt look big enough in this?'

'Very steamy and sexy novel, Miss Pendergast, but how come that this Latino heart throb only services women over 70?'

"You only started bringing me home from the Darby and Joan club because I had a stair life and you couldn't manage stairs any more."

'Aha, the vitamins for seniors swaps additives for preservatives.'

"She's definitely less plumpy."

Bending beneath the weight of his burden, he lay it upon the moss (Atala).

'Remind me again. . . who's chasing who?'

"His snoring is just loud enough to mask my tinnitus."

"This is not exactly how I envisioned watching the grass grow in my retirement."

False teeth duel.

'I can't read your manuscript now, Miss Austen, I'm going speed dating.'