Elderly Romance Fan Pillows

the romance novel

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

I am married

Phrenological matrimonial bureau

Victorian Garden Romance

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

'Well, apparently your mother was right. Your face is finally stuck that way.'

Masked Admirer

'I can't believe you only lasted 3 days, 9 hours and 56 minutes.'

Kissing bench with rockers

'Very steamy and sexy novel, Miss Pendergast, but how come that this Latino heart throb only services women over 70?'

Victorian bachelors leering over woman.

'I need your honest opinion...does my butt look big enough in this?'

Bending beneath the weight of his burden, he lay it upon the moss (Atala).

"I see Arthur's arthritus is acting up again."

'I wandered lonely...er..on my own for a bit..'

Richard Strauss

'I can't read your manuscript now, Miss Austen, I'm going speed dating.'

"Do you care for the soldier type?"

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

Tosca in prison

"Walk of shame."

"Ready for your birthday present dear?" "Leave the diaper on! Leave the diaper on!"

"I remember the days when you used to pull my hair like that!"

Illustration for 'Wives and Daughters', scene 1.

'I finally found Mr Right!'

'It's a whistle only mothers can hear.'

'Yes, yes, we love you too!'

"I remember when young men met girls in person!"

Meeting at a social gathering

"Whoa! Do I look that Viking-y?"

'Nice! Just throw the food on the dirty ground! Thanks, Lady!'

"Who? You were expecting someone else, perhaps?"

"Whoa! Now there goes one fine pair of kidneys!"

'Wait! -- We'll never develop a meaningful relationship if you keep knocking me unconscious!'