Senior Prankster Gifts

Pensioner and Graffiti

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

'Court's in recess!'

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

'I could eat you.'

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'I can't believe I'm pretending to be 55 already...'

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

The Amazing Mr Sausage

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

Thank you for not making faces during teleconferences with the boss.

'Looks like someone got their bags mixed up at daycare drop-off.'

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

"Well, Billy; according to your dog's x-ray, he didn't eat your homework!"

You know what I like about our meetings? There's always more finger pulling than pointing.

Unbeknown to others, Thoreau would sometimes, in the middle of the night, sneak out for a few odds and ends.

Book signing The Art Of Forgery - "Gee thanks, Oprah Winfrey."

'It was self-defense - the clock struck first.'

Pants Uglifier!

After exhaustive auditions, Rudy Park hires a new writer. You should've seen the brawl that broke out between Rowling, Twain and Watterson. They all really wanted the gig … until they heard what it pays. So who'd we hire? Darrin Bell. The guy who draws us. That clown? Shhh!! What? I'm not afraid of him. To be continued …

"Who would've thought Ms. Marcus had so little sense of humor?"

I will not chew gum in class, even sugarless....

"Whoa! Are they doing what I think they're doing?"

'I think the meeting went reasonably well until he threatened to call security.'

On a school trip to a museum, a child takes the head of a horse statue and runs through the museum with it.