Senior Outlook Pillows

"Brian's struggling coming to terms with his retirement."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"I don't know who you are!"

"Wish I could do that." "Better give him a dog treat and a bath first."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

Four bites a second is about as fast as anyone can chew.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

Pensioner's Romance

"The wattle fairy came again last night."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

Man about lady in rocking chair with roll bars: 'Never too old to rock and roll.'

"I still jump out of bed every morning. I just don't stick the landing as often."

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'If you're coming on this road trip the sign stays'

Love Fest 50th Reunion: Sewing any remaining wild oats encouraged!

Medical Bling: "Help!" on a rope, Important info, O2 4U, Snazzy 3-prong

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

'Dang! The Hoopers have been force-feeding vitamins again.'

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

"Hello, Dr. Moreno? I wanted to tell you how nice it was to visit you today, but I'm not sure I needed all the pill samples...especially since I'm not sick."

"Apparently, he's well over 100 now."

'Don't talk to me about joint-pain...'

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

As a louder and more satisfying alternative to clapping, Lily uses her bingo wings.