Senior Living Aficionado T-Shirts

Elder Assist Bird: 'I'm not going to tell you again! Take your ***** pills!'

The Henderson's move to a vertical city took some getting used to.

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

"I'm cleaning a little already, because the cleaning lady will be here soon!"

"Wish I could do that." "Better give him a dog treat and a bath first."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

Ed's receding hairline!

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

"You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!"

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."

"Who says the recovery has been uneven? All my funds are up!"

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

"Would you care for a slice of lemon dribble cake Mr Dobbs?"

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!