Senior Citizen Humor Lover T-Shirts

"You look amazing Dad. Has Mrs Arnold been ironing your face again?"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

Adam and Eve, as old people.

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

A senior moment.

David Blaine, Age 60

"Our house must be haunted. When I look in the mirror an old geezer-goat stands in front of me so I can't see myself."

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

'He won't start up on cold mornings.'

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"What say we shake things up a bit, and go in and ask for a couple of home-pregnancy test kits."

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

Old man has a walking stick case.

"He may have a royal flush. He may have a pair of twos. It's impossible to tell since he had Botox."

'Did someone say something?'

You know your getting old when you have to put on your reading glasses to trim your eyebrows...

Life begins at 60

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

'I need a low dose of Viagra please doctor. . .I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't wee on my shoes.'