Seminar Seekers T-Shirts

'My parents are out bonding at an annuities seminar. Would you like to leave a message?'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Here we are."

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

'Before we begin, please turn off all cell phones.'

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

Graph leads down into egg with a big crack.

How to engage an audience

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

'Success in business door' - keep your finger on the button doorbell.

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

"We'll start with some 'ice breakers' and 'team building' games..."

'I see Phelps is back from that stress reduction seminar.'

Time management office worker

'I take it the Change Seminar stripped you down to your vulnerabilities.'

'If asked, we should all agree that this seminar never happened.'

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'

"I hope I haven't taken you aback by asking you to attend the change seminar."

'I sent an employee to a motivational seminar once. He came back and took my job.'

"Please refrain from throwing business cards."

'She's attending a 'confidence empowerment' seminar, to have her aura recharged.'

Tonight's topic Ethical behavior. Personally, I let my conscience by my guide, but I do the driving!

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'

'Ladies and gentlemen, today we're going to get down to nuts and bolts.'