Semaphore Operator T-Shirts

"I think he just said I'm on a boat LOL ..."

MUM! No one wanted to buy my cowpats

"I'm just checking in from an alternate timeline to see how things are going."

'We are so in sync!'

Proposal

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

Wormholes: Portals To Other Universes.

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

"Of course it sends your message digitally. If you want analogue we'll have to saddle up old Bessie."

Find out who has the Licensing Rights to Armegeddon.

'It's tough doing what's right when you see what's left.'

"In a Universe Light Years Away...Almost, son, but remember you have to light up all the people for your wish to come true."

Desert Island with CCTV.

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

"He says, 'What hath god wrought...' What should I write back?"

"I feel like my job in the fossil fuel industry is going the way of the telegraph operator, the pony express rider and the buggy whip maker..."

Hi, sign a petition for better working conditions? Hello, sign a petition for better working conditions?

"The beginning of another urban legend."

'Sewer farm - 100% organic'

Woman holding two phones together.

Business cartoon of video camera spying on 'anonymous tips' box.

Hardware Store: Drone Swatter

"I don't have the heart to tell her."

Fats' career had really hit the skids: the butcher, the grocer, the slaughterhouse - nobody wanted him anymore.

Ideas before their time Telegraph office. You're wasting way too much time using that thing to forward jokes.

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

Post future today

'E=ma2. E=mb2...'

"We need to deliver urgently but the machine is broken and we can't find the technician. . . could you please. . ."

Creative Accounting

Goldilocks and the 3 bears

'This baby has tilt steering, natural air and plenty of head room.'

"Well, that's the last of it, which means we just ate thirty years' worth of food in two weeks."

"E...I...E...I...O."