Self-talk Advocate T-Shirts

"Wonderful! This way I can go block after block talking to myself and nobody looks at me as if I were crazy."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

Self-esteem room

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

Breast Height Chart

Twitter censorship

'Mom's Spa'

"I told the doctor about my problems with anxiety and burnout and he wrote me a prescription for me an one for himself."

"This tea isn't helping – I'm taking a gummy."

Freedom Book.

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

It's nothing to worry about - many kids his age have trouble with the letter S.

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

"I know you're always taking care of everyone else, but you need to take care of yourself, too. Also, I need my stethoscope back."

'You should have seen me sooner, Mr. Fenswick.'

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

'Sure I talk to myself. It's the only way I can have an intelligent conversation round here.'

Weapens of Mass Instruction

"I decided to spend the money and have my legs waxed."

"Yeah, your inner child called. They want a nap, a juice box, and a restraining order." "Ruining whoops, running a country is tough. Maybe I need to relax and channel my inner child."

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

'Guess what! I got my act together! And this is it!'

"Never mind how other see you, how do you see yourself?"

"I feel we're making progress."

"And don't forget 'the right to shoot your damn fool mouth off'."

It started with elasticated trousers and daytime TV...

"Look, Papi...you need to take care of yourself. You don't have to be macho and proud and scared of being weak!"