Self-sufficiency Seeker T-Shirts

DIY helpdesk.

"No Man is an Island" Research Project

Give a fly a bowl of soup and he'll eat for a day. Teach him how to use a crock-pot and he'll eat for a lifetime.

"We're tolerably self sufficient. Alistair, for example, makes all our own petrol."

They hated me.

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Self help acupuncture

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Critisize your weight.

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

'When my business turned into a lemon, I made lemonade....but that also failed when nobody liked its taste'