Self-sufficiency Advocate Gifts

"To heck with a husband... just help me find a dependable electrician."

Akron, oh, you're on Ask Sadie. What's your problem?! I'm thinking of not signing up for health insurance this year. Good idea. In my day, there was no such thing as health insurance. If you got sick, you paid for it with either money or chickens. That's if you were a lily-livered coward who just had to see a doctor. When great-great-grandmother Cohen had her sixth heart attack, she just applied a poultice made of chestnut leaves and flour and kept on plowing.

Self-serve no-frills gas.

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

Wind-generated power. Wind turbines attached to Battersea Power Station's iconic chimneys

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

No pollution! It's a good day to get my eco-nut sister's present. What is it? Something she's agitated for all year. Where are we going? Here's good. She's so lucky. Not everyone gets fresh air for Christmas!

100% carbon neutral

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

"For goodness sake, not again, it's day-time but we can't see the sky: It must be another oil spill..."

Dragon Recycling the Knights it has defeated

"I can't make it out - on the packet it said radishes."

"Sorry, Rudolph, but the production on electric reindeers and their batteries gives work to thousands of children while you destroy the climate with your farts."

Vivienne Westwood

"Can you believe Jim made all the furniture out of old rubbish?"

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

"He says he's not running away. . . he's just going off the grid."

Humans are 100% recyclable.

"Turns that out! - We're supposed to be saving energy!!"

"Talk about energy efficient...every lightbulb in this house will outlive you!"

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

Water scarcity in Africa

"It's an all-they-didn't-eat buffet."

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

Look! There's a photo of our eco club's Earth Day actions in the newspaper! Sports. Power up the green machine!! I could use more copies. Me too. They're going to really power up my college applications.

US Energy Needs.

Sorry, I only eat organic, fair-trade, shade-grown, biodynamic, raw dirt.

'Look on the bright side: now we qualify for an energy-conservation award.'

Rubbish and Everest

Landing helicopters on flowers.