Self-reflection Artist Pillows

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

"Never laugh at your wife's choices ... you're one of them."

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"He's his own worst enemy."

Cellphone Islands

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

That party went well.

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"The overthinker"

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

"When you look at me, Alice, what do you see?"

Woman looking into a mirror

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"I'm working on more of a 'personal' mythology."

"Is this who I am?"

"I used to think" if I don't go to work the world will fall apart. . . but it fell apart anyway."

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"You need to stop bottling it up."

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

Pachyderm insomnia.

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

THE LANGUAGE OF PROM DRESSES

"Maybe I'm not the best choice to ask if your silly wife cartoons are funny!"

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"