Self-quoting Enthusiast Pillows

'In closing, I'd like to quote myself.'

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

"I've been reading a book of famous quotations. It's amazing how many are by a famous Greek named Anonymous."

"Tia Carmen, did you ever wish summer was over...so you could be in school?"

'Quotes, woof, woof, woof, woof, closed quotes.'

"Goodnight, Dan, you handsome devil!"

Frog Prince thinks: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horsefly.'

"If all you have is a whatchamacallit then every problem looks like a thingamajig."

'Someone stole my identity, didn't like it and sent it back.'

'Sure I talk to myself. It's the only way I can have an intelligent conversation round here.'

'I inherited therefore I am'

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

Psychiatry. I keep thinking the same bad thoughts over and over! An "emotional baggage carousel"!

'Relax! I just read somewhere that 142 pounds is the new 125!'

"To stay in or not to stay in...."

"Did you say something? I thought I heard a sound bite."

"Will you please stop quoting Gertrude Stein

Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, you may be qualified to go to law school!

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'

"Son, talk loudly and carry a big shtick.

"Baldo, even though you've done something funny to your hair...it does not change my feeling for you. You're still my handsome nephew...and I still love you as much as before. Even if you've gone crazy in the head."

'As President of the Annoying Saying Society, just let me say,,,,,enjoy,'

"Well, for starters I'd like to thank me."

'Honey, about these motivational notes you've been leaving for yourself...'

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, Al. I might have found that quote useful if not for my deadly fear of hobgoblins.

You don't need to use air quotes for your own words, Mr. Lincoln.

'Every time one door closes, another one opens. Can you fix it?'

"Comparison is the thief of joy, Mittens."

'Do you have any white with a hint of discount?'

"Who's gorgeous face is this I see? Is it a special person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with?"

Quote du Jour: Gen. Mark Milley

IRS: 'Life isn't fair.' - John F. Kennedy

"Dad, to err is human."

"Stop bleating, it's all ewe,ewe,ewe!"

"I came, I saw, I resigned."