Self-publicist Supreme T-Shirts

'It says, 'Like many of the greats, he was a brilliant self-publicist.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

JET (Part I)

"Your press kit said you were lots of fun."

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

Snow White and her Seven people.

Blog Breakdown

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

'Burke's B-list celebrities.'

"He's a real throwback. He does all his own publicity stunts."

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

"It's a blood curdling novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a book about the brutal murder of a publisher..."

The company's marketing strategy became increasingly sophisticated.

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

Man milks a book.

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

"I wrote, self-published and remaindered it myself."

IRS tax instructions.

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

'Take me to see Max Clifford'

"I've decided to redefine as a GREAT artist."

"You've got to blurb me to her."

"You are, without a doubt, the worst publicist I've ever had!"

Media Darling.

'The Parkinson would be good PR, but should I wear the hair shirt or the sackcloth and ashes?'

"Yes, Your Honor. I am Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"

"'Killer Whale' is terrible branding. From now on, people will call you 'Happy Silly Fun Fish.'"