Self-importance Philosopher Mugs

"I was just talking to Charlie Rose in my head."

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

"Nice haircut."

"What does she have that I don't?"

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

"We really need to put some more mirrors in here."

TV-Mirror.

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

'Cosmetic surgery.'

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

"Nobody wants to steal my identity."

"Yes, but why did they use a picture that makes me look fat?!"

'Do you have anywhere where they'd think I was good looking.'

'Casper just lost twenty seven and a half pounds, but his head is just as fat as ever.'

'I've got a question. If your answer is 'Yes', I'll hate you. If your answer is 'No', I'll hate you, too. The question is, do you think I need a new dress because I'm looking fat in this one?'

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

Bob Found A Different Yardstick For Success And he Felt Swell

'Some boys think I'm pretty. Some think I'm ugly. What do you think?'

'He wants to look slightly mysterious and menacing.'

Even if you're the president of a corporation, you're still just the president of a corporation.

'I'd like to buy a frame that adds youth to a portrait.'

'I'm just sayin', with this cute little face and my big fluffy tail, I never really thought of myself as vermin!'

'Admit it, Henry, you only love me for my hair.'

"Does this dress make my ass stick out?"

'No, I don't like them, their shirts make me look fat.'

Red Letter Days - Having one's portrait shown

A little powder and a little paint makes a girl what she ain't!

"I reckon he's compensating for something."

'I would appreciate if your young lady waited for you up the road,Wilkins.'

My routine.