Self-help Group Attendees T-Shirts

'I know it wouldn't hurt them to come! Maybe that's why they're not here.'

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

Self help acupuncture

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Relationship Warning Lights

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Window Treatment

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"

'The Lemming Book Store'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"Commandments aren't really selling these days. However, we're willing to consider self-help tips or personal improvement ideas."

'...Do you, Thomas, take Charleen as your wife, to love and cherish, for better of worse...use Rehab as may be needed...for as long as you both shall live?'

'Surely they're not ALL still in their offices!'