Self-help Seekers T-Shirts

Child reading book: Understanding Your Parents' Behavior.

'I realize that you're upset that Oprah hasn't reviewed your new book on her show. But you are on MY show, so why don't you tell us what inspired you to write 'Overcoming Disappointment and Resentment.''

Break Glass in Case of Emergency

"Good news, you don't have imposter syndrome - you really are a good boy."

Amnesiacs Convention.

Gamblers Anonymous: 'Betcha I recover before you do.'

"I do understand, Sabrina. I've been hurt too."

"I found another great book about living with less stuff."

"I've decided I'm going to be positive all the time."

'What do you want first - the bad news or the even worse news?'

How to make a million dollars

'How To Lose That Ugly Fat Fast'.

DIY books.

Self-help videos: Buns of steel & Buns of brioche.

Psychoanalyst turtle trying to help turtle patient come out of shell

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

They hated me.

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Self help acupuncture

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

Relationship Warning Lights

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"