Self-help Junkie T-Shirts

"Here it is - 'Surviving an Earthquake'..."

National Shopaholics Anonymous.

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

A man reading 'Beach Chairs for Dummies'

Anthony Rottweiler: Motivational Dog Speaker

'If your life was a reality show, would you watch it?'

"The meaning of life is being able to help yourself."

Bob loved being his own boss – but hated being his only employee.

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

Self help acupuncture

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

Relationship Warning Lights

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Window Treatment

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"I can't get used to being a grownup."