Self-help Group Facilitator T-Shirts

Narcissistics Anonymous

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Inclusive speech

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Networking

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

The first week of the brainstorming session went slowly.

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

Book: 'From prey to predator in 30 days.'

"You're wondering why I've called you here."

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

How to engage an audience

'I'm feeling a sense of conclusion here, so let's draw things to a close.'

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

"We'll start with some 'ice breakers' and 'team building' games..."

Keys to Success: Focus, Alertness, Concentration...

Start the session by doing something unusual.

'This training session is all about challenging assumptions. For example you see someone looking depressed, dishevelled, unkempt it's easy to jump to conclusions. But they may not be a social worker, they may be a client!'

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.

As the Chief Corporate Adrenal Gland of the company, Fred's recommendations were rarely a surprise.

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

"I hope I haven't taken you aback by asking you to attend the change seminar."

The facilitator from hell.

'And now, Gentlemen, that we have our thinking caps on, let us continue.'

'Ladies and gentlemen, today we're going to get down to nuts and bolts.'

'Do you get the feeling that, in educational workshops, there are way too many buzzwords thrown around?'

'Benson will you stop trying to dominate the meeting.'

"Well...this meeting is about...ummhh...structure and...ummhhh...preparation. Well...ummhh...at least I think so..."

'We're running late and I have much to cover. Can you hold your eight-part question for later?'

"Many of you were confused about the 'Randy's how to be an alpha' lesson from yesterday: 'live like you've got nothing left to lose'."

Egomaniacs Anonymous - "There's nothing anonymous about me!"