Self-doubt Analyst Gifts

"What was I thinking?!"

"I'd like to be a shake-it-off kind of person, but I'm more of a cling-to-it-and-focus-on-it-until-it's-irrevocably-weaved-into-my-psyche sort of gal."

"We fell for this last time remember..."

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

'Don't worry! If your self diagnosis turns out to be correct this time, this will take care of it.'

'What seems to be the problem?' - 'I've got bubonic plague.' - 'Okay... so what symptoms do you have?' - 'Well, I feel chilly and I had a muscle cramp. They're both symptoms of plague.' - 'I hate Wikipedia.' - 'It says here that you should prescribe...'

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

Flowchart of an idea.

"Duh!"

Cartoon Panel Discussion

"Stock photo, right?"

'I'm just concerned that if we embrace change this one time, change might get the wrong idea and mistake it for some kind of long-term commitment!'

"Your internet researched analysis of your condition and treatment is impressive,and it would be 100% on target...if you were a goat!"

"-But APART from 38" 22" 36" what else do you want to be, Cynthia?"

"There you go, self-mythologizing your childhood again!"

"£38,000 in consultancy fees and 'sell more stuff' is the best you can manage."

Personality Test - No Result

"I'm not real good at promoting myself, so I brought my mom."

My Rug Hell

'I can't figure out why I'm not losing weight. All I eat is salad.'

"Can I be in the control group?"

'It's a matter of interpretation...to a politician 'contract' like 'manifesto' simply means an 'empty promise'.'

'So, how long have you had this delusion that you're a psychiatrist?'

"Forgive me Father, I lied on my 'reason for unsubscribing.'"

'Have you seen me? Nevermind that, have you seen yourself lately? You look like crap.'

At last, Paul Burrell finds his diary.

I want you to assess your own abilities on a scale of one to ten, - 'Okay,' - 'Intelligence,' - 'Five,' - 'Confidence' - 'Five,' - 'Social Skills' - 'Five,' - 'Why do you think you've rated them all as five' - 'I forgot to ask if ten was good or bad,'

"...and will to the best of my ability, which is terrific ability, by the way. Everyone agrees, I have fantastic ability. So there's no problem with my ability, believe me..."

"A breakthrough, but not a major breakthrough."

'Can you believe that seven women, that's 83.5% of females in the 21-50 age band who are present, think I'm boring?'

Nice legs! They're taking the p*ss...maybe they're not. Maybe they mean it...

"The U.S.S. Narcissus"

'Did you see that? I'm the same weight now as I was when we were at school together!'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent 11 years studying medicine when your research online seems to have identified your condition...if you were a Patagonian fruit bat!"

'She said the Skeptic's Club has been disbanded due to doubts about the leadership, but I don't buy that baloney for one minute.'