Self-congratulators T-Shirts

"Ed has his own trophy manufacturing business."

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

"This might take awhile, Lord."

Complementary Beverages

Hyacinths

A giraffe in a hat

Thank you healthcare heroes

'I see from your resume, that on your last job you were salesperson of the month. Says here that you were given a plague. Do you feel better now?'

'Um, nice tie. Birthday present?'

"Well, for starters I'd like to thank me."

"It's surprising, the number of men who would give their left arm to spend the night with me."

'Ms. Collins, order me a dozen roses asap. And make sure I say something flattering to myself in the card.'

'Allow me to be the first to congratulate you on your sudden promotion.'

Actually, calling me one-dimensional isn't much of an insult

Lady sees vending machine: 'Your 2 Cents Worth 50 Cents'

How many Christmas gifts did you get this year? I got over a dozen. Seriously? No single, childless adult with very little family and only one friend can possibly get that many Christmas gifts. Unless ... by "got," you meant ... I had Amazon wrap them all. I like to be surprised.

Do I REALLY look like George Clooney... Now THAT'S what I call selling.

"Who's gorgeous face is this I see? Is it a special person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with?"

"My monument to me is coming along nicely."

Man replaces a bust with one of himself.

'I mean it... you look good in a beard!'

"I'm going to my Grandma's on Thanksgiving to pig out...and also be thankful."

"My wife's in there having the 'full works'. For the past two hours I've been practising my reaction."

"Still working from home, I see."

'I got into this business to help people, not recognition, but a thanks or a friendly wave once in a while would be nice...'

The Eternal Optimist: Smiley Face grocery bag in the garbage, saying, 'Thank You'.

Me me me

You're beautiful when you overrule.

2021 blessings

'His ring tone is a huge round of applause.'

"I started a gratitude journal."