Self-checkout Strategist T-Shirts

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

'I've got it written down...'

'You've got just 2 minutes to pack then you are on OUR time and I'm going to start charging you rent!'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

Self-Checkout.

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

'But what do you sell?'

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

"He's not our founder. He just found us the most tax loopholes."

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

'I'm sure I've forgotten something. I got change from a fifty.'

'We just drive by and throw candy and stuff like in a parade.'

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

"What time does the Black Friday parade begin?"

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'

"I'm off to the sales!"

'I'm the same as you - too sick to go into work, but well enough to go shopping!'

"Unexpected item in bagging area."

Well, look who's here.

"I agree, it fits perfectly...but not my budget!"

"Your shopping carts really should be getting mileage. This one is costing me about $30 per aisle!"

"...I'll sit here pretending to be interested but I'll actually be writing a shopping list and fantasising about my plumber!"

"I've got a rare, front-row parking spot. I know I can't stay here during the holidays, but I'm allowed to dream."