Self-care Satire Fans T-Shirts

"Tan O'Clock Salon. Your key to maintaining a healthy afterglow in the afterlife."

"You know, there are other emojis."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

Recipes for comfort drinks.

Bald Man Overcomb

Lady Liberty's Self-Care

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

Bald man with a brush on his head

'I believe in the free enterprise system. I haven't paid for anything in the past 27 years...'

"He's a mental-health critic."

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

Bald man polishing head

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

"This one is called 'Essence of Hockey Bag.'"

"Worm puree? No, it seems the old lady was sh*tfaced again last night!"

'He was too chatty. I don't like small talk. Too much gibber, not enough jabber.'

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

Holy water cooler moments

"I don’t remember there being a tip jar the last time we were here."

Bald hairdresser recomending hair restoring lotion

Unbroken Eye Contact: The Musical

Health Care Parade

"A touch more obsequious and you'll reach the tipping point."

"I picked this up from the humans. . . two metre gap. . . gives us a much wider spread."

'Better call me Sir in the office dear - I don't want the staff to know that I send my wife out to work...'

The Lord giveth. The Lord taketh away. Joe giveth back.

'Steward, this fellow hasn't spoken for a week. Be a good chap and feel his pulse will you?'

Weight loss programme.

Narcissus visits the ophthalmologist

"I always feel like a third and fifth wheel in social situations."

"Just a glass of wine with breakfast, officer."