Self-care Avoider T-Shirts

"Geoffrey's new year resolution was to give up self-respect."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Self help acupuncture

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

Work/Life Balance

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

Spa

Bad fake tan day.

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Surfing the daily stress

Bad hair day!

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"Try thinking about something else."

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Leave your troubles in the bubbles

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"You left your demons here last week."

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

Pampered and poodled.