Self-care Avoider Mugs

"Geoffrey's new year resolution was to give up self-respect."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Self help acupuncture

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

Work/Life Balance

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Bad fake tan day.

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

Spa

Bad hair day!

Surfing the daily stress

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"Try thinking about something else."

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Leave your troubles in the bubbles

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

"You left your demons here last week."

Dating is so expensive...