Self-awareness Enthusiasts Gifts

You're wasting your time, you're just not that good looking, yeah well neither are you...

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

National Everything Awareness Day

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

That party went well.

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

When did you first feel like a male trapped in a female body? When I was a foetus.

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

"Look, it's my word balloon."

"Is this who I am?"

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

"Oh No!! - I'm deciduous..."

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

Always remember...you're the best you in the world.

"Feeling that only you can prevent forest fires could be construed as delusions of grandeur."

"God help us, it's that guy."

As soon as I've extinguished my ego, I'm going to take some "me" time.

'Can you remember where you were when you first realized you were full of crap?'

Psychology Clinic. Most potent example of solipsism I've ever seen --- he follows himself on Twitter.

"Mort, I'm writing a case study about two diametrically opposed archetypes of your generation. Archetype number one: a bold, debonaire male... The type that suffered no fools, lived life to the fullest, and pursued romance with tough, smart 'dames' who kept him on his toes. And then there's archetype number two: weak, insecure, afraid of life, and dominated by overbearing romantic partners who brought him to his knees. Ok. I'll participate. Who'd you find for archetype #2? You might want to

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

"I work from home because I can’t stand the sight of idiots." "Is that why you got rid of all our mirrors?"

Motorway of the Self

How are you feeling, Al? I couldn't be happier, Dr. Kapuchnik. Gee, that's great. No, I mean I wanted to be happier, but I couldn't.

"I'm realizing how useless I'd be in a post apocalyptic world - All I do is draw cartoons."

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

"Wait ... I always thought taking each other for granted was a good thing!"

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'You're not fooling anybody but yourself.' 'There goes my political career!'

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

'Can you remember where you were when you first realized you were full of crap?'

"My, aren't we patient-oriented this morning."