Seeking Purpose Pillows

"Once you've jumped over the moon, standing around in a field all day just doesn't cut it."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

The rocket powered skiier

On the brink.

Man running in a hamster wheel

Cats holding letters up that spell out 'Hang in there'.

YOLO vs YODO

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"WOW...this new bike has great acceleration!"

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

"Look before I leap - always. 'Think' before I leap - never!"

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

AI

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

"Great - really great - but I'd still like to get out of the house every once in a while."

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"You like taking long walks in the rain? My dogs will love you!"

"Stupid HR says you can only fire them..."

Parachuting with Concrete Shoes

"I could have gotten to the top . . . but I wasted all my time in the park."

Truthfully, I'm just a frustrated insurance agent …

'I suffer from depression too Ms Frost. Sometimes I'm not even motivated to get out of bed!'

Trapeze Artists

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

The real reason the Christmas Truce didn't last.

Guru Greg's Soul Repair

"So dude, how much ahve you saved up from your job?"

Fitness Guru

"I've lost my mojo."

'I was looking for a little stronger mission statement than that.'

'The hardest part of this running routine is exercising the will power to do it.'

'The Existential Files.'