Seeking Health Advice Prints

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

"I'm a doctor - I'm SUPPOSED to be a health nut!"

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

"You need to stop eating that sh*t."

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

"I'm recommending a more balanced diet."

'I'm going to check with my pastor to see what the Bible says about this operation.'

'Well, if you don't smoke or drink, stop chewing gum!'

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

"After giving advice for decades, my doctor gave me some. He suggested I quit sitting all day."

"Don't eat anything fatty...you're not listening, Fatty...I said, 'Don't eat anything!'"

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

'I'm prescribing magnets for your weight-loss program. They'll keep this on your refrigerator door.'

'If I do decide to get a second opinion, can I get it at your blog?'

"You must cut down on your smoking."

'You've never starved a fever, have you?'

'Now this quack wants me to see a specialist- what the hell is a PATHOLOGIST'

"You have to start exercising. Running your mouth, skipping meals, and jumping to conclusions won't help you."

"My doctor said I needed to go on a diet. . . Yes, to a new doctor!"

'These pamphlets will explain the procedure and these leaflets will explain the pamphlets.'

'When you put on a new patch you're meant to take the old one off!'

"You're my second opinion. . . my wife was my first."

Greed