Seeker Of Guiding Light Pillows

"It says here on your resume that your best attribute is that people look towards you for guidance."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

Courage. Love.

Guru.

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

"All the celebrities come here."

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

A push in the right direction: 50c.

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

Before and After Thomas Edison

'Don't look upon me as a priest, look upon me as your personal 'After Life Coach.''

'Order one with anchovies -- I've never seen a fish!'

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

"Who's the artist?"

Zen and the Art of Procrastination.

'It's not considered good form to brag about extinguishing your ego.'

'Lucas A Non Lucendo.'

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

"Are we there yet?"

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

Fortune teller: 'If you want a second opinion, my sister reads tarot cards.'

'Maybe you just weren't cut out for enlightenment.'

"The meaning of life? Funny you should ask."

"But if I become one with the Universe, won't I get BLAMED for everything?"

"Actually, I just came up here to get away from leading economic indicators."