Seeker Of Guiding Light Gifts

"It says here on your resume that your best attribute is that people look towards you for guidance."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

Courage. Love.

Guru.

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

"All the celebrities come here."

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

A push in the right direction: 50c.

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

Before and After Thomas Edison

'Don't look upon me as a priest, look upon me as your personal 'After Life Coach.''

'Order one with anchovies -- I've never seen a fish!'

"Who's the artist?"

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

I'm just saying, maybe you should try getting out of the city, Mr. Van Gogh. The Smoggy Night.

Zen and the Art of Procrastination.

'Lucas A Non Lucendo.'

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

'It's not considered good form to brag about extinguishing your ego.'

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

"Are we there yet?"

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

Fortune teller: 'If you want a second opinion, my sister reads tarot cards.'

'Maybe you just weren't cut out for enlightenment.'

"The meaning of life? Funny you should ask."

That's a street lamp, Steve.

"But if I become one with the Universe, won't I get BLAMED for everything?"