Light Seekers Gifts

'Do me a favor, Ed. Don't tell the other guys.'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Have you got a light?"

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

Courage. Love.

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

Speed Dating.

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

'Bring me some more power.'

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

The Wishing Well

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

'I'm a star!'

Hospital Departments

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't flirting with you – I was checking my phone."

'It's Blurred.'

'I'm looking for a job that satisfies my lust for power.'

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

"You can get good cards but still have terrible luck."

"It's Friday the 13th. I feel lucky!"

"It's this time of day when I feel most lengthened."

"For my next trick, I'll require an audience."