Light Seekers Pillows

'Do me a favor, Ed. Don't tell the other guys.'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Have you got a light?"

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

Courage. Love.

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

Aim for the Stars, Settle for an Asteroid

Speed Dating.

'Bring me some more power.'

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

Hospital Departments

'I'm a star!'

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't flirting with you – I was checking my phone."

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

The Wishing Well

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

'It's Blurred.'

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

'I'm looking for a job that satisfies my lust for power.'

"For my next trick, I'll require an audience."

"No, no - I'm just looking for a balance of power that corrupts in moderation."

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."