Security Shield Gifts

Workers are running out of one door labeled 'Reactive Business Intelligence,' while another worker in the next room sits calmly behind a door with a sign that reads, 'Proactive Business Intelligence.'

The Anti-Agent

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

UK border controls relaxed.

High security Santa's grotto

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

"He's a guard dog."

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"I see you've security marked your property."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

AI Safety Officer

Moulin Rouge Security

"Beware of Don"

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

Scarecrows guarding a field

Clickbait

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."