Security Scrutinizer T-Shirts

Nuclear Security Summit

Opportunities in Coronatimes

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

CATCHY NAME

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

"It's a cucumber mousse with a mushroom roam, but at least your bill will be substantial."

'Tell me more! That's my favorite symptom!'

'Roughly translated it says 'Can't remember the code to get into your pyramid? Call Pharaoh Locksmithing.'

"There must be an app for this..."

"Yes, you paid for the product and the plan, but there's an extra charge for actually using it."

"Government requires that we lower the bar."

'At least I'm not accused of being envious, lustful, greedy, prideful, gluttonous or wrathful.'

'Hey, there's a spot - pull in there!'

Truth in Labeling: 'Snouts, lips, jowls, cheeks and viscera enclosed in intestine and served on a bun, Mustard optional.'

Bar None

"It's a great old building, but I wish we had a more up-to-date security system."

The System is a Punishment for a Past Life

Gonzo Marketing - batteries not included in batteries.

Bring down the Airlines.

'The danger of similar packaging.'

Surveillance Protester

Smoking Gun

Say It Ain't So, Ho

Are we what we eat and what do we actually eat?

"$865 attorney fee, $198 title insurance fee, $150 administration fee, $135 title search fee, and heck, let's add a $200 'at this point the client probably won't notice anyway' fee."

'One four ounce serving supplies minimum daily requirement of butylated hydroxyanisole...'

"Of course the chef ‘suggests’ it — it’s seventy-five bucks!"

Inland Revenue 'Think Disallowable'

'I don't like changing my habits. That's why I'll have what I already know I don't like.'

"I never sign without reading it first."

'Could you give me details of where I can find the nearest Post Office.'