Security Prankster Pillows

"A modicum of barking is required on my part, but then I'll let you in if you'll let me out."

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

Bo're'droom

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

Here and There Trays

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

"Everybody gets a raise."

'Here comes the boss. Quick, look busy!'

"That's a Hula Hoop. I asked you to find a loophole."

Receptionist covers for boss by saying he's out of the office.

'Cancel his redundancy cheque then phone for an ambulance'

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

"Might you explain to me how your division managed to spend twenty-six thousand dollars on tennis balls?"

"Manhatten Brooklyn Hoboken Long Island"

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Are you sure you want to present your ideas in the form of an airplane?"

'The boss says you can come in from the naughty step now.'

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

'I bet you think I'm drinking tea...'