Identity Prankster Pillows

Bill Collection.

'Help! My name is Arthur P. Croncton and I am not a lion!'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

'Court's in recess!'

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

Music to drive ( others mad) to...

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

Why are you waving that big magnet over my hard drive?

Tonite: Gala Costume Party. Got your costume for the big party? No, I'll just part my hair on the other side and go as my own reflection.

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

'Checkmate!'

'I accidentally hacked into Mom's microwave oven.'

That isn't what prove you're not a robot means, Bob.

The Ascent of Man.

'I'm going to have to transfer you to someone I don't like.'

Thank you for not making faces during teleconferences with the boss.

'Just give me the computer password, Marie. I won't put any more embarrassing pictures of you on Facebook.'

'Waiter, there's a cell phone in my soup.'

"You're young enough to play tag, but not old enough to borrow my phone to play phone tag."

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

Extremely Realistic Virtual Reality.

"Personally, I don't think the company's CEO and CFO should be making decisions by rock- paper-scissors!"

"The secret of time management? Never take anyone off hold."

"My dad said I couldn't scare him, so I'm hiding all his data like it was erased. Get ready for a loud scream."

'... and when the user's blood pressure goes over 100, the computer shuts down, the siren sounds, and the neon sign beings to flash!'