Security Nerd Pillows

CCTV

CCTV in Operation: Warning Guard Dogs In Use

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

The Computer Bore

'Where was the TSA?'

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

Robot Grabber Arcade Game Machine

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"The new computer is great, but we can't get rid of the old one. It knows too much."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

CCTV in church.

"Sorry it's late. I got caught in Spring migration."

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"I may have been the runt of the litter, but online I'm the alpha dog."

"You knew I was high maintenance when we met."

Cell phones seem as if they are designed for a T-Rex!

"Honey, our pop-up blocker stopped working again."

The Ayatollah Bomb?

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

"After finally discovering that we exist, you would think you would have something more important to ask than if we had Roku."

'Since PRISM, nothing is 'off the record' any more.'

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

>Enter new password: BEEF STEW >Password not stroganoff.

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"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

IT security.

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."