Security-conscious Pet Owner Gifts

'C'mon Ace bark, you damn fool!'

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

'It's okay - he knows how to use the GPS.'

"I wasn't howling at the moon. I was singing along to my iPod."

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

'Fetching newspapers is over. Now I aggregate blogs for him.'

"Instead of wagging my tail, running around and jumping all over you, I sent you an E-card."

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

Facebook For Dogs.

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

Animals have broken into (and out of) Norm's home through window.

Labradrone

'Did you read my email about Timmy falling down the well?'

Thanks to the kitty-cam, curiosity no longer kills the cat.

Tinder

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'

"As I near my 9th life, I feel I’m entering a post-curious, pre-fatalist phase of existence."

"Please – I promise I’ll walk him, feed him, and manage his social media platforms."

"Shouldn't hide treats in your back pocket with a dog that big."

"Sure, e-mail is faster . . . but I miss biting the mailman!"

Robotic dog throws dirt onto real dog.

'Polly wants on-line.'

"We agree - 3 words you don't want to hear from the vet - fleas, shots, and diet."

"I think the dog wants to go out. He just texted me the poop emoji."

"It's a smart refrigerator that requires a password to open it. They always use one of our names. Their lack of creativity has finally caught up with them."

"I'm not saying she's obsessed, but every single photo on her phone is of her person." "Awww, that's her napping."

"With this new attachment your kitty can continue to sleep on the TV!"

"I left my computer on, and my virtual pet dog tore up the place."

The next logical step in invisible fence technology.

Computer games you can play with your dog: Disk toss.

'Ill be back in a minute with the rest, sir. And you better stop leaving your dog alone with the computer and your credit card...'

Sniffchat

'Had a picture of a bone on my cellphone and the dog buried it.'