Security Checkpoint Skeptic Pillows

'I was told there would be no un-dressing.'

UK border controls relaxed.

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

Privacy Conference Security

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

'If someone sent an email and the National Security Agency did not spy on it, would it still be an email?'

'Since PRISM, nothing is 'off the record' any more.'

Skip the TSA scans by wearing a Burka

'And this is Bert, our intern. He's been with the company for 46 years!'

"Your call may be monitored by the CIA, NSA, Russians, Chinese, space aliens..."

"Our constantant surveillance indicates workers are becoming more paranoid."

'The best thing about working here is that nobody is irreplaceable.'

'I am sure you will enjoy working here until your inevitable layoff.'

'CIA Surveillance of my senate committee violates the fourth amendment...'

Obama's surveillance of America.

"No, your cats don't bother me. I work under constant surveillance at the office."

"As part of our new privacy policy we stopped using hidden cameras."

Your DNA is in the database.

'This is you hotel. . . it has no TV, but every room is equipped with CCTV.'

"Your calls may be monitored for training purposes..."

Privacy Conference Security

Man urinating against wall with sign on back which says 'as seen on CCTV'.

Domestic spying.

Couple surrounded by security cameras plus film crew. Man says: 'I find the CCTV is quite intrusive in this area.'

This homeland security is getting out of hand.

"That'll keep them out."

'Really, a foreign wine? What will the NSA think?'

"We're going to be forced to give up something, and I reckon the something is you."

Data From a Truck

'For your safety, these stalls are monitored by a single person in a discreet location.'

Warning: this is a safe area.

Rules and procedure

"Prayer is private. It's just between you, God and the NSA."