Sectarian Satire Lover Gifts

My belief is better than yours!

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

Bureaucracy gone mad!

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

The Modern Damocles -

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

ENNUI...(smiley face).

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"I can check again, but Mr. Saunders usually insists on the full wait."

"Right! It's a heart op, neurosurgery and counselling. And I'll have the Wiz"

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

'We've got to stop him watching Robert Peston.'

Well done, Harris. That's one of the straightest paperclips I've ever seen.

Nicolas Maduro

The Ultimate Reality TV Show: Apathy Island

Straddling bus stop above a regular bus stop.

The Bengal Lancers/Bingo Lancers/Bagel Lancers/Bungle Lancers

Art Vandalism

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

"For me it's all about the craft of acting."

'Just so you know, leaning on a rake and looking at the sky is not 'yard work', and thus may not be entered into your 'I do so help around the house' defense.'

'Never to be seen again!"

'He became a dissident Dissident in protest at the Dissidents.'

'A role model? Yes, I suppose he was. Everywhere he went, people would say 'That's Bill Fenton... You don't want to be that guy!''

Reference: Who's Who/Who Cares