Secret Mission Schemer T-Shirts

Clandestine cows.

"The first one is for graduating from basic training. The rest are classified."

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

"An Iraq attack is one thing, but I'm not sure about a Persian incursion."

"My assistant is more of a behind-the-scenes kind of guy."

"Do you call this a business plan?"

"I've made myself a success through a combination of long-term planning and short term tantrums."

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

'Here's the game plan going forward. We acknowledge any and all 'mistakes,' then fake fixing them.'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'Things look much better long-term, once we pass the statute of limitations.'

'I'm sick and tired of you and your 'get rich quick' schemes.'

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

And here is where we stooped to the level of the competition.

"It's a setup."

'Do you want to be red Tory or blue Labour?'

'let's see if we can find any loopholes in this 'honesty-is-the-best-policy' nonsense.'

'Now that we all agree on the agenda, a show of hands on how many want to keep it hidden.'

"I've come up with all the right words for our new sales strategy, now we just need to work out what order to put them in!"

"Your covers been blown 007....you'll have to be called 008 from now on."

"So you want to hide it from other squirrels by presented to deposit it in savings, then taking it back and putting it in a secret account?"

"We're fighting them in zone A, they're our allies in zone B, and we don't know what to do in zone C."

"Just take the free kick, and stop wasting time."

'Oh, that's Dan, the congressman's right AND left hand man'

'So you say, 'Tom, how do I become filthy rich?' Why, that's easy. By scamming others the way I'm about to scam you.'

'Danae...you seem to spend twice the time and energy in avoiding your schoolwork than it would take to actually do the work...How far do you expect that'll get you in life?'

'This tape will self destruct in 5 seconds. If it doesn't, please stomp on it a few times.'

'You do realise we are going to have to kill you!'

'While Dewey distracts the defense, the quarterback simply jogs into the end zone untouched.'

"Boss, there's a rumor going around that someone lost a $1,000 bill in the cafe. There are like 200 people out there." "Interesting. And I assume they're all looking for the $1,000 bill. I assume they don't want anyone else to know about it before they find it." "I assume each of them is buying our food and drink so the others won't suspect they're here with ulterior motives." "I wonder who could have possibly spread such a rumor in the first place?" "Very bad man."

"We love your results. We're just a weeny bit concerned about your methods."

Secret Service, sign saying: 'You could be here.'

'I'm always thinking of my fellow man - that's how I stay ahead of him.'