Secrecy Unravelers Club Gifts

The transparent safe box of Panama

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

'Washington has wooden teeth? -- how did you find that out?', 'It came out in conversation.'

The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

'Read any good book reviews lately?'

Portrait of Sigmund Freud

"Welcome to the neighbourhood. I hope you like savory pies."

Department of Dot Connection

"Whoa, I guess dad and mom didn’t send Scraps off to live on a farm after all."

'Of course there are more bureaucrats than field workers! It's more fun to create regulation, than to actually enforce it!'

'Since the universe is rapidly expanding, there's a lot more that we have to worry about now.'

We try to keep our jam making expertise quiet!

Stanley Hibblemeyer suddenly realizes that he is only a theoretical physicist.

"If you kids want to grow up to be writers, it's time we give you something to write about."

Pentagon Science Contest: 'You've got a time machine! Just go to the future when scientists figured out how to travel to another solar system, then come back with the solution and win half a million bucks.'

"Before we make contact with the departed, be aware that all communications will be recorded and maybe used for training purposes."

'Tonight the remains of Jimmy Hoffa have finally been discovered with what appears to be millions upon millions of unpaired socks.'

Blackhole Research.

"Cross the road and you are one of us brother, but you can never reveal WHY you did it!"

"I downloaded this public sector tender we should consider bidding for. I’m hoping that these new Procurement Regulations will make it a less tortuous exercise." "Based on that first page I suggest nothing has changed..."

Government "Information" Agency.

"But if you've given up on a fifth force, how can you possibly discover a sixth force?"

Julian Assange

"Welcome to our private banking group."

'Sir, the stupidity of your actions was directly proportional to the number of surveillance cameras watching you.'

'So what we thought was dark matter is really dark energy.'

"That book was so cliche. Can you believe the butler actually did it?"

Three people hypnotised by a self-hypnosis book.

Unpublished Authors of the Big Bangs Theory

'We find the defense and prosecution arguments totally confusing without a doubt.'

"I've just discovered the universe is built from trillions and trillions of lego blocks!"

'So, I told him, 'Reality is for people who can't handle drugs'.'

Heartless Taxation Department