Second Wife T-Shirts

'Great news, honey-bunny. My divorce finally came through, and I got the kids.'

"I know what you're facing. My Ted was previously owned, too."

"I liked you better as my first husband."

'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one divorced me and the second one won't.'

Shepherd and eurydice

'I sent out for everything.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Come dine with me!

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Butterfly Woman

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

You're my Mona Lisa.

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

Larry's used art

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Gender Equality

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Police Feline Unit

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Demure lady with gloves

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"