Second-generation Family Gifts

"My grandparents are from the old country. When they don't want me to know what they're saying, they speak in Latin."

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

Child walking with balloon which represents global warming.

A father comes home from work and is given a baby.

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

'Quick! Look cute!'

Excess Baggage: The younger the traveler, the greater the amount of luggage required.

"What's a good time for dinner, let's sync up our calendars..."

Kangaroo wearing a hoodie with a pouch.

"So, the inevitable sequel."

Reality of Parenthood

'Until I met your Mom, yes.'

'We actually meant to order a baby monitor, but he was so cute we just had to keep him.'

'Yesterday her kids and my kids started beating up our kids.'

"You both agreeing to mediation is a good start. So, your master, Rex, and your mistress, Felix, have decided to get married."

Scooting Death

Wet Wipes: My Guilty Secret

"If there are no objections..."

"This has been fun, Dad, but I need to spend more quality time with my smartphone."

Greta Thunberg

"It's too hot to strive for autonomy."

'Will you marry us?'

'Your mother is not a good loser is she?'

"Truth be told, you all have different daddies."

"I'll clean my room when I want. I don't have to listen to you. You're just my step ladder."

'You know, I think I'm in the wrong nest.'

"Awww....someone's done a pooping in their pants. How cute?"

'Eat my vegetables? - I thought we were supposed to be predators!'

"Now that we've got a new bull, is he the calve's stepfather?"