Seasonal Produce Detective T-Shirts

Do they have to grow frozen vegetables in the winter?

Eco-Anxiety For All Seasons

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

Don't mind us. We're just trying to eat more locally grown food.

See you at the farmers market!

At the market

"I can never understand these foreign crop circles."

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

"These are Fzjhyg's sales figures for the month? I can run crop circles round him."

"Oh, no - not another farmer's market!"

"Number 2. Step forward please."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

Berries, Roots, Tubers, Stems, Leaves.

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

Christmas Drinks 'n' Nibbles System

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

'True it does have small flowers but through the microscope its exquisite.'

"Mother! How? Wait — where’s Dad?!"

Getting Rid of the Cure

Grocery Shopping

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

"Summer's here. Do you want to start talking incessantly about tomatoes or corn?"

"Fresh-raked leaves?"

Turkey Autopsy

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

Man on Stilts in a Market

'If you want produce grown on the farm down the road you'll have to go to Kuala Lumpur.'

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

"'Tofu'? Qu'est-ce que c'est 'tofu'?"

The History of Anti-stick

'It's a feisty little potato of Scottish origins, with a reddish complexion, whiskery appearance, waxy character and slight tendency to small mischief; spring-sown into well-drained soil on the south of the Island it has been hand-reared by. . .'