Seasonal Marketer Gifts

"Finally! An iconic advertising image that represents Christmas, Valentine's Day and Easter!"

"Seems to start earlier every year."

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

Fall on a desert island

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

A Snowman checking out some products for blacken his teeth

Easter Egg Delivery

'Actually, I was thinking more in terms of a temporary position.'

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

"Oh, as long as he needs you, Santa's a great guy. But once things slow down and he wants a little vacation time with Mrs. C., it's 'goodbye North Pole, hello crappy temp job!'"

People of the Fall

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

"Did no one tell you that at this time of year everybody flies south?"

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

"I'll see your two and raise you three."

"Maybe this year..."

"Oh, how I love the change of seasons! From cold and flu to spring allergies!"

STRIP "I've tried everywhere to get a new winter court...but all the stores are full of next years summer collections"

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

A woman buries her broken heart

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'

"Look, at the colors of my m&ms. Amber, russet, scarlett. . . it must be Fall."

Poinsettia

"How can I word this Christmas card to my boss without wishing him a merry Christmas?"

4 seasons globe

"But, can he support you on what a store santa makes working one month a year?"

'My holiday season: A rich tradition of belated giving and premature babbling.'

Who's ready for pumpkin spice season?

Rudolph is at bar speaking to a patron-'So he asks me if I'll pull his sleigh and I'm like-'Not until I get that backpay you owe me fatso!' '

The corner that Spring's around