Season Embracer Pillows

"Spring is definitely here! Which means yard work is not far behind...."

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

Ultra-lazy sloth

"Must be another paradigm shift."

'I love all the seasons! Fall and winter have great holidays, and spring and summer school gets out!'

"You've changed."

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

'You wiseaces who said, this factory would move to China are wrong! It's moving to India!'

"I live for the moment. That moment just happens to be in the indefinite future."

'In today's economy, it's important to put some of your money under you mattress and bury some in backyard...'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

You Know You're Old When...

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

'Relax babe, that's me before the operation,'

Janus 2021

Old year sits by 'Out' box, and new year sits by 'In' box in office.

"You got better-looking as you got older—up to a point."

"You really think they'll come back to the hill after they've gotten used to working remotely?"

'And now for the (Yawn!) morning report....'

"I hope I'm single for Valentine's because only I fully know my worth in chocolate."

'If you're really open to change, you won't go South this year.'

New Year baby

'Reinventing myself.'

"A Clif Bar wrapper? That's why you dragged me up here?!"

Grandpa cheats death, puts in a pool.

'There, there, Mrs Hornsby. Many women your age go through menopausal facial hair growth.'

"Yes, I specialize in helping people like through the changes ahead: Change is good if you embrace it..."

"Please, don't be scared, it's only an idea."

"I have a recurring nightmare where the paradigm keeps shifting without me."

"Excuse me, but due to a lack of trees, I have no idea what season this is....could you perhaps..."

'I'll bet my Dad's pants are bigger than yours.'

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Great --- Starting from scratch again.

At least you didn't marry him.