Dawn Embracer Pillows

Woman throwing paints out of her house.

Instructional guide to scribbling

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

Summertime.

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

What the woman who spent years frantically trying to get her ducks in a row eventually learned.

"I've given up trying to be on top of things."

"I live for the moment. That moment just happens to be in the indefinite future."

"Spring is definitely here! Which means yard work is not far behind...."

Congratulations!

Jackson Pollock the Spider

'His thought process is non-linear. It bounces around like a tumbling tumbleweed!'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

You Know You're Old When...

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

Man feeding origami birds with confetti

"Mmm... now WHERE did i leave my radio..?"

"I hope I'm single for Valentine's because only I fully know my worth in chocolate."

"Can't find your office, doc?"

'And now for the (Yawn!) morning report....'

"Frankly, it would be hard to beat being a bird flying around on such a glorious sunny day!"

"I'm a professional organizer. At home, I like to relax."

Welcome home from the lake! I need a shower! Ditto! Hey! How about a hug first? I need a shower! I can smell the love!

Courtney Love

"You got better-looking as you got older—up to a point."

'I'm all about quantity.'

Shit Happens (bumper sticker)

Grandpa cheats death, puts in a pool.

"A Clif Bar wrapper? That's why you dragged me up here?!"

'How did the 'creative way of thinking' course go?'

"He and I connected physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially, humorously, technologically, and self-destructively."

'We've got a problem - They're starting to enjoy it.'

You can keep your surroundings clean and well-organized, but that won't stop life from sometimes getting very messy.

'Oh, Harold...How can I face our family and friends knowing you're a crossdresser?!'